This post has been updated as of June 2026. I originally wrote it years ago, but after a few more decades of living with CMT, navigating perimenopause, wearing leg braces through every season imaginable, and collecting a little more life experience along the way, it felt like the right time for an update. I have a medical condition. It is not recognized by doctors. There is no medication for it. Insurance does not cover treatment. And yet, I experience it with alarming regularity. I call it Seasonal Change Self-Pity Syndrome. A completely made-up mood disorder affecting people with disabilities, chronic illnesses, mobility challenges, orthotics, leg braces, fatigue, and occasionally perfectly healthy people having a bad day.
THE SYMPTOMS:
- Sudden sadness while looking at summer clothing catalogs
- Increased use of the phrase, “Yeah, but I can’t do ”
- Feel-Sorry-For-Me Syndrome
- Annoyance toward overly cheerful people jogging at 6 m.
- Excessive scrolling through vacation photos of people hiking mountains
- Wondering how everyone gets in and out of kayaks so casually
- Increased Amazon purchases of products that will supposedly make summer easier
- Netflix binge days
- Usually self-diagnosable
- Highly contagious
- Treatable
THE FACTS:
For most people, spring symbolizes renewal. Flowers bloom. Patios open. People dust off their bicycles. Neighborhood runners suddenly emerge from hibernation. Everyone starts talking about pickleball. For many people with disabilities, however, seasonal changes can bring something else: A reminder. A reminder of what takes more effort. A reminder of what requires planning. A reminder of what may no longer be possible. Or what was never possible to begin with. Every summer my social media feeds fill with people hiking mountains, kayaking, paddleboarding, biking for miles, and jumping off boats into lakes. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to determine whether my braces, balance, fatigue level, available shade, walking distance, and bathroom access are all willing to cooperate on the same day. Summer is beautiful. Summer is fun. Summer is also exhausting. When you have CMT or another disability, the weather isn’t just weather. Heat can increase fatigue. Humidity can make walking harder. Long days can require more energy than your body wants to give. And then there are the clothes. People without braces get excited about sandals. People with braces start negotiating with footwear manufacturers. At 25, I worried about whether a pair of shoes looked cute. At 55, my standards have evolved. Will my brace fit? Will I fall? Can I walk in them? Will my feet swell? Can I survive eight hours in them? Fashion is still important. The questions are just different. Then perimenopause entered the chat. Apparently my body felt disability alone wasn’t providing enough opportunities for personal growth. Now I sweat from places I didn’t know contained sweat glands. Some days I’m freezing. Some days I’m hot. Some days I’m both. At the same time. It’s honestly impressive. The truth is that seasonal changes can trigger real feelings of grief, frustration, jealousy, sadness, and FOMO. That doesn’t make you negative. It makes you human. So what do you do when Seasonal Change Self-Pity Syndrome strikes?
Treatment Plan
1. Have The Pity Party
I am a huge believer in scheduled self-pity. Notice I said scheduled. Not permanent. Not a three-month residency. A temporary visit. Once a year, I give myself permission to be annoyed. I think about the things I miss. The things I wish were easier. The cute shoes. The mountain hikes. The ability to walk onto a beach without first assessing every possible obstacle like a military operation. Then I get bored. Because honestly, pity parties are kind of depressing. Giving those feelings a little space often keeps them from taking over the whole season.
2. Replace “I Can’t” With “I Can”
I may not be climbing mountains. But I can take a walk. I may not be kayaking. But I can sit by the water. I may not be able to do every activity. But there are still plenty of things I can enjoy. The goal is not to pretend limitations don’t exist. The goal is to stop letting them become the entire story.
3. Stop Comparing Your Summer To Everyone Else’s Summer
Comparison is especially dangerous this time of year. Social media tends to show the highlight reel. Nobody posts the blister. The fatigue. The panic attack. The sunburn. The argument in the car on the way there. You are comparing your real life to someone else’s edited version. That never ends well.
4. Be Helpful To Someone Else
One of the fastest ways to get out of your own head is to help another person. Volunteer. Mentor. Call someone who is struggling. Support a disability organization. Do something that reminds you that your life still has purpose and value. Because it does.
5. Be Your Perfectly Imperfect Self
Sometimes the best way to embrace a new season is to make a few changes. Try a new lipstick. Buy the bright top. Find a pair of sandals that actually work with your braces. Change your hairstyle. Refresh your routine. You may not be able to control the weather. You may not be able to control your disability. But you can still show up in the world feeling like yourself. And that matters. The older I get, the more I realize there is no perfect season. Every season comes with something wonderful. And every season comes with something annoying. Summer brings sunshine and sweat. Fall brings beautiful colors and darkness at 4:17 p.m. Winter brings cozy blankets and dry skin. Spring brings hope and pollen. The goal isn’t to live someone else’s version of the season. The goal is to find your own. And if you happen to catch a case of Seasonal Change Self-Pity Syndrome along the way, don’t worry. The prognosis is excellent. Perfectly imperfect, as always. Xo Lainie
Thank you so much for the plateform to share ideas on how we modify our lives. I am 5 ft tall, have MS and wear an AFO due to drop foot and balance issues. I work in a Bank and people called me Imelda Marcos since I was always in high heels. It was difficult to find shoes and I didn’t want to wear boots every day, so I discovered that velcro and magnets were to be my fashion friends. I can wear sling back shoes by running Velcro through the sling and then thru my brace. I match the Velcro color to the shoe. I no longer can maneuver the necklace or bracelet clasps so I use the magnetic clasps. Game changer…
Thank you so much for writing and for sharing such a great hack! I love hearing the creative ways people adapt things to make life easier and stay stylish.
I have to admit, though, I’m having a little trouble picturing exactly what you mean. What does the slingback shoe offer you? Does that modification allow you to wear that type of heel or dress shoe with your AFO?
I do understand the idea of creating more of a Mary Jane-style strap. I actually do something similar with elastic shoe bands. In fact, that might be a helpful option for you, too! They make some really cute bejeweled elastic shoe bands that can add both style and security.
I’ll link them here in case you haven’t seen them before.
Thanks again for sharing—I always learn so much from this community, and I’m sure others will too! https://amzn.to/4eetlmJ
Love it! Thank you 💕
Thank you for reading Natasha, and taking the time to leave a comment. I really appreciate it.. 💕
Amen sister. Thanks for putting my feelings into a well-expressed definition and some great steps to deal with them.
Yaaas I really needed this too!
I’m so glad, Tracy! That makes my day
Thank you so much for reading Mary Jo. 😊 It always makes me feel a little better knowing I’m not the only one who gets a case of Seasonal Change Self-Pity Syndrome. I’m glad it resonated with you, and I hope we can both remember to give ourselves a little grace when it shows up!
I cannot tell you how much I love this and how much I NEEDED this right now!!!! Thank you for writing this and thank you for sharing this!!!
Thank you so much for reading and for such a kind comment! 😊 It truly means a lot to hear that this was exactly what you needed right now. Knowing that something I wrote resonated with you makes sharing it feel so worthwhile. Sending you lots of love, and I hope things start feeling a little lighter soon! 💜
Actually I happen to love my braces. They’re my freedom, not an object of shame! I love rocking my them out in shorts. If someone was going to dislike me for being disabled then that’s their problem, not mine.
That’s awesome ! You sound super confident and happy. 💪🏼🦿
I had a stroke at 47 leaving me with left side hemiparesis, I have managed to get waking with a walking stick and afos to stop my foot rolling despite what specialists said I walked and managed to get myself independant enough i could live by myself with carers helping with showering and dressing in the mornings then help with meal prep in the evening, my partner at the time of my stroke couldnt cope with the disabilities i ended up with so he left me and i thought i would be alone for ever who would want a disabled lady, I was wrong i got brave and did online dating i had some really creepy guys contact me, my carers enjoyed coming in each day and finding out the latest update on my online dating eventually i met alovely man hes quite s bit older than me but by far the most kind caring partner i have ever had, thanks to you i also have lots cute looking sandals booties and even knee high boots, I used to have so much shoe envy especially in the summer when everyone was wearing cute little summer dresses and sandals and flip flops we call them jandals here in new zealand I worked as a receptionist and office administratorI wore lots of lovely very smart looking outfits and heels everyday, I was so upset when i had to give away my lovely heels and heaps of my clothes with only one arm working i have to wear clothes with a lot of stretch to allow getting my left arm into the armhole, this limits so many clothes especially the very pretty ones made out of 100 percent polyester as theres no stretch I have been able to find pretty dresses but have now found my wardrobe is far too small for all my clothes, I realy need to stop buying clothes but when its one thing i have control of when so much has been taken from me finding your site has been a huge help to me thanku lanie
kind regards
Angela
Angela,
I woke up to your beautiful email and can’t stop smiling! I am sooooo happy you found a great partner and an awesome wardrobe to boot! You deserve that kind man & overflowing closet! Thank you taking the time to write this!I hope it’s okay if I share some parts? 💜💜
Lainie, I needed this today. I love to read your posts. You are always spot on and have great ideas on how to make life more positive. xxoo
Stephanie,
Thank you !! I can’t believe I didn’t respond as this really made my day! 💜💜
Thank you so much for this! I sometimes feel so guilty for feeling sorry for myself once in awhile when others have much worse disabilities and problems. It is nice to hear it is okay (normal) to feel this and then move on. I love that you always say the truth and and use positivity and humor.
Deb,
I can’t see my response anymore but hopefully you got it. Thank you ! 💜💜
Hi Lainie,
This post is beyond timely and just so so helpful. Thank you for being so authentic and speaking your truth…I’m sure you have gathered 99% of your followers feel the same way as you so having someone out these feelings down on paper (well not really paper 😂) is so validating! I have PPMS and over the last couple years I’ve had to part with my heels, booties, cute slide-on sneaks and stylish sandals…I’ve felt so frivolous at times being so bummed about this, but your post and those who have commented, have validated that it’s NOT frivolous and it’s genuine grieving. It’s also a giant reminder of this disease. Anyway, you rock and your mission resonates deep with me and your followers…you’re authenticity is inspiring and your posts are educational and supportive so I thank you so so much!
I apologize if you have this already linked in your website, but my orthotist recently recommended Billy Shoes (https://billyfootwear.com/) and I love their womens shoes! They offer a single shoe program which is huge for me as my left foot needs a smaller shoe than my right as that’s my AFO foot. Anyway wanted to share ☺️.
Thanks again for all you do for your peeps! You are the best!
Lainie, I m reading this for the first time in four years and am happy to say that you’ve helped me so much in my journey to accept and make the most of my AFOs and CMT! I am taken back to the feelings I had when first reading the post but am equipped with so many ways to it inky cope but thrive. Thank you for being the resource our community needs. And the inspiration we want!! You are the absolute best.
Ditto to you Reeve! You have been such a major supporter and have helped keep me motivated all these years. Thank you for being a friend and all of your support and love 💕
Just this morning I wondered what has recently come over me lately? You named my funk perfectly and I thank you. I have CMT and wear blue rockers. With all the suffering going on in the world, I want to put my energy into being grateful for feeling safe and well. My AFO’s are a gift that offer me the ability to walk and as of 2 summer agos, I no longer hide them! Thanks for getting me back on track.
Hi Cathy,
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I’m glad this post and others have been helpful. You are definitely not alone Cmt sister💜
Remember reading this back in 2018 and going ‘Yes! Someone else gets it!’ (and replying as such above). Since then I’ve moved to the seaside so it’s even more annoying that I can’t slip on shorts and flipflops and head for the beach, but it really does help to know I’m not the only one.
First off, Thank you for following from the beginning. It’s funny I now have a winter house in Florida and although I love the fact that I don’t have as much pain, I do wish it was easier to walk on the beach etc. I’m glad you still relate
I’m 68 now. Way far back in time, I wore saddle shoes with a pretty dress to my 8th grade graduation. The only “dressy” shoes available in size 2-1/2 3E back then were black patent-leather Mary Janes with a buckle in the middle, which were worn only by kids under 8: I did not want anyone to think I chose them on purpose! Horrors! So wearing saddle shoes made it obvious I had some kind of foot problem and not a bad fashion sense! It’s still a big problem for me to get shoes on my funky feet, cause of CMT and surgeries and orthotics. But I’m still able to walk and I had the time of my life camping and travelling. I even hitchhiked in Europe after college graduation in the early 70’s. I had a great partner and a great job and still have great friends and a good, but less adventurous life. No one can be positive 24/7, but it’s a great idea to party when you can. I like the idea of hosting a pity party in the summer; maybe I can require my guests to wear heavy socks and shoes with their shorts!
???? I can just picture a bunch of people sizzling in their heavy socks & shoes at your pity party. I’m flying in if you do it. I love your outlook. Thanks gor commenting.
I love this! I agree with you about the online communities. I keep trying to find one, but they get so negative it ends up making me feel worse. Fall is the best, because with my fibro I’ve found blundstones are oddly the best footwear for me. But summer? ugh. Everything hurts. Maybe, at the age of 48, I need to learn to rock the cut-offs and blundstone look. lol! Keep being positive. We need some chronic illness fun and we also need to be able to feel pretty.
Hi Marian. Love you …I do not know what blundstones are though? Please reach out via facebook or Insta. ?
Yes, Lainie! I feel every word of this…what a eloquent and beautiful piece! Thank you for reminding me of the many people who would trade places with me in a heart beat. I try to stay as grateful as possible but we all have our days and moments of foot envy. I’ve recently traded in my long maxi dresses for some short summer dresses and am less concerned when people take a double-look at my accompanying leather knee boots. Confidence looks good on everyone and the summer breeze feels great on my legs…sweaty feet and all. <3
You’re the best Estela. ?❤️?❤️
I feel this so much! I’ve dealt with my disability my whole life, but spring always makes me feel a little pity for myself. But I still wear sundresses pretty much every day, no amount of pity can stop me!
Brianna, I love the name of your Blog. You sound like an awesome, positive person. ?
Lainie, this is going to be my first summer with AFOs and I must say I’m experiencing a lot of what you write about. I just switched my closet with the stuff in the basement and left my skirts down there (for now). That was pretty sad. I really don’t like hot legs, so will have to see how that all goes. I’m trying so hard to embrace my new reality but it’s a big change! I really appreciate you putting it all out there for us. I don’t feel alone any more!! P.S., I did find some cute sandals at DSW that fit my Noodles and kinda camoflage them! It’s the little things….. ;-P
Hi Reeve,
So happy you found some cute sandals that work ??? It’s all gonna be ok as the afo’s will allow you to do more now than you did last summer.
Hi Reeve! I also wear a Noodle AFO, and I have been struggling to find sandals that work. Would you mind sharing the brand/style? This will be my second summer and I have only just recently been brave enough to try something other than tennis shoes.
What kind did you find for your Noodles? I’m super curious as I have Noodles, too!
Hi Sonya! Sorry for the delay, this went into my Spam folder. The ones I was referencing were gladiator style sandals from DSW, with a small wedge heel. Since then, I’m even happier with these Kenneth Cole gladiator style ones.
GENTLE SOULS by Kenneth Cole Break My Heart Nude Gladiator Tie Up Flats…
You can find them on ebay — I had a pair for so many years they finally gave up, and now I got a new pair and they work really well with the noodles. Good luck! So many of Lainie’s styles are perfect for noodles. You just may need to buy them online and try them.
Hi Laine. I have been sick with the flu going on 3 weeks. Feeling alone being ill, then spring coming thinking about shoes with no socks how cute they are. How I wish I could wear them??? Then the cookouts. I can wear the sundress, the braces can be cumbersome. It’s just the way I feel right now. I agreed I need to accept these feelings or they come out in other ways.
Thanks for your website
Margie
Margie,
It’s gonna be ok. Being sick at home would bum anyone out. I am confident that you will figure out a way to wear sandals if you want to. I can help and offer suggestions. Email me directly info@box2387.temp.domains
Love this. I’ll never stop missing heels, but having to wear flats is how I justify buying Chanel lipsticks.
Thanks, Ardra. You’re too cool for school for real. That’s exactly how I justify my evolving wardrobe and Chanel lipgloss obsession too!
Yes, yes, yes! I so wish I could slip on flip flops this time of year. Thanks for putting this out there- it’s nice to know I’m not alone in my sadness and good reminder to focus on the positive. ???
Hi Amy,
You are so not alone…. thanks for taking the time to read it and comment.?
Oh Lainie I love your spirit !! It truly feels like you “hit” on what I’m feeling at the moment and allow me to realize that, “All is good”. I too avoid support groups and am much more of an “I can” girl; however, I feel everything you write about so thank you for your inspiration. I call my braces my “Super Hero Shins” !! They allow me to do things that I otherwise could not do. I’m loving your blog and the “perfectly imperfect” tribe !!
Kimie,
You truly made my day by quoting the ”perfectly imperfect tribe” part ? I don’t have a name for my braces but I might steal yours? Thank you sooooo much for the awesome message.
Well, that explains it! When the weather changes and I can no longer hide my AFOs under long pants and layers, I get a bit weepy. Pity party with Netflix, for sure. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone, and giving me some truly helpful ideas to re-direct my thinking, Lainie. XO
Hi Joy,
You are so welcome! Thank you for all your support. ❤️❤️
Yes, yes, yes. Exactly how I feel at this time of year. In fact here in the UK, spring’s been a while coming (due this Wednesday, according to the weather report), and while everyone around me is moaning about it, I’m quite happy that the Summer Clothing Dilemmas haven’t started yet.
This year, I’ve decided my solution is going to be to make the clothes I need to go with the only kind of shoes I can wear these days – basically wide fitting high top trainers. I can never find nice, lightweight trousers in the kind of shape that works (and not cropped, obvs), so I’ll sew them myself. That’s the plan anyway!
Hi Francis,
Thank you for commenting. It’s definitely not Spring here either; the high temp was 40 degrees. Sounds like you have a plan!
So so true. I’m feeling a bit like that now.
Although I have banished those gauntlet braces to the garage cabinet, it still leaves me with my orthotic and boots, hiking, work, or cowboy, in summertime. And, the frosting on the cake, that weight I lost, well it must of been in the lost and found box and found me again!
Great article, enjoyed it!
Lois,
I hope you can shift your focus and not worry about the weight coming back. If it’s something you want, it will happen. You are being too hard on yourself. I really appreciate your comments always.
Thank you, Lainie! I used to facilitate a CMT support group, but did sort of get burnt out on the “downers” in the group. I consider myself a “ glass half-full” kind of gal, and enjoy a good dose of positivity pretty much all the time! But, I am also practical and realistic and yeah, I mourn the loss of no longer wearing strappy sandals. I work on my attitude and smile, and relationships with people, so I hope they barely notice those blue plastic “shin guards” on my legs. I’d love to pity party with you sometime! ?
Marianne,
You sound super positive and awesome. I hope to meet you and your winning smile someday. I’ll bring the cake ?
Great Blog. I can relate to you and the tips are helpful.
Thanks for reading Lisa!