Date Night Valentines Day

This post as been updated as of January 2025 to reflect current products & fashion.

It may contain affiliate links that if used, may provide a tiny commission. This does not impact what you pay in any way but does help me to offset my website cost and buy an occasional Starbucks latte.

There is no better excuse than Valentine’s Day to channel your inner Beyonce and act like the sexy goddess you are. Whether you’re planning a romantic night out, dinner with girlfriends, or a date night with Netflix & some cheap champagne, February 14th is all about looking and feeling red hot – disability, or not.

Ok, I know…It’s a Hallmark Holiday, blah blah blah…I get it, if you’re not the Hallmark Christmas movie type, you may think that Valentine’s Day is cheesy and over-commercialized, which of course, it is…But is there a downside to a day celebrating love? Plus, I heard they remove all the calories from chocolate when it’s molded into hearts.

Now, I can already hear some of you protesting, so let’s address those “buts” (and no, I’m not talking about the kind you sit on). Let’s start with the biggest one…

 BUT, I’M NOT SEXY

Hold up, sister! You don’t need to look like a Victoria’s Secret model or teeter around in sky-high heels to be sexy. You can be the hottest woman in the room and enter it holding a cane or rocking leg braces. It’s all about attitude and how you feel in your own skin.

Here’s a little secret: When you hyper-focus on your flaws, you inadvertently tell others to pay attention to them too.

A sexy woman with a disability accepts her imperfections and knows how to flaunt her best assets. The good news? You can learn how to be body confident with a disability.

To be sexy, you have to think you’re sexy. It’s like the movie “I Feel Pretty” with Amy Schumer. Did you see it? It got some pretty harsh reviews, but I loved it. Basically, Renee (Amy’s character) struggles with major insecurity and rejection daily. Then, she hits her head and wakes up believing she’s morphed into a supermodel.

Although Renee’s physical appearance never actually changes, her self-perception does. By thinking and believing she is beautiful, Renee becomes confident. This newfound confidence gives her the courage to take risks and be open to new opportunities, including love.

Now, I’m not suggesting you fall off a spin bike (please don’t!), but you can alter your self-image by learning to change the thoughts you have about yourself.

 BUT, IT’S A LOT OF WORK

For those of us in relationships, Valentine’s Day is our annual reminder to spice things up and prevent monotony in long-term monogamy.

By making an effort (like shaving your legs or getting waxed), you send your partner the unspoken “you’re worth it” message.

This act alone is an aphrodisiac, which is great because watching me attempt to eat an oyster would be the antithesis of a turn-on.

It’s crucial not to blow off Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, or any event celebrating your relationship. They’re opportunities for couples to be intimate, share memories, and remember the qualities that initially attracted them to each other.

This is especially true when one partner relies on the other for physical assistance and/or caregiving due to disabilities. Unless you’re playing out a doctor/nurse fantasy (no judgment here!), it’s important to keep the caregiving to a minimum in the bedroom and to have equal giver and taker roles.

To turn up the heat, why not try one of these fun and disability-friendly romantic date night products? I’ve curated a list of items that can add a little extra spark to your Valentine’s Day celebration, no matter your abilities.

Click on The Images Below To Shop: 

Click on The Images Below To Shop: 

 BUT I DON’T HAVE A VALENTINE

If you’re single and looking for love, Valentine’s Day might not rank high on your list of favorite holidays. I feel your pain and get it. After getting divorced in my early forties, I worried that I’d spend every February 14th alone (with a bunch of cats) forever. I believed that my disability would be a deal-breaker for any man I’d want a long-term relationship with. Fortunately, I was wrong.

If you’re newly single and have similar worries, don’t fret! Your story is completely up to you, and you get to choose how you want to live it. Check out our dating posts and podcast episodes full of tips and inspiration about dating and disability.

Of course, You can always choose to stay home eating a chocolate version of the perfect man and feeling bad about yourself, or you can put yourself out there and meet new characters that may change the plot of your adventure with a disability. The choice is yours!

BUT, I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR

I never need an excuse for a new outfit, but if you do, then Valentine’s Day is a great one. Although sexiness comes from within, an outfit that flatters your figure and shows a little skin doesn’t hurt.

There is a fine line between dressing sexy and dressing trashy. Here are some basic rules of thumb:

Did you learn anything new? What do you do or wear to feel sexy? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below. Don’t forget to join our perfectly imperfect tribe so you don’t miss a single post. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Xoxo

Lainie