Tips & Adaptive Fashion For Looking & Feeling Sexy With A Disability On Valentine’s Day 2023

Valentine’s Day is more than just a day to celebrate love; it’s also a perfect opportunity to focus on feeling sexy, not only for our partners (or potential partners), but for ourselves. Channeling our inner Beyonces and feeling sexy and confident in our bodies on any given day, let alone on Valentine’s Day, can be challenging for many women. But it can be especially difficult for those of us with disabilities.

But here’s some breaking news! To be sexy, you don’t have to look like a Victoria’s Secret model or wear high heels.

You can be the sexiest woman in the room while holding a cane or wearing leg braces. It all boils down to attitude and how comfortable you are in your own skin. So, whether you’re planning a romantic night out, dinner with girlfriends, or simply taking the time to appreciate your own unique beauty, here are some tips for looking and feeling hot, disability or not, this Valentine’s Day and every day.

We will get to the fun shopping part soon (keep scrolling to see our cute and sexy accessible Valentine’s Day outfits and accessories), but let’s first identify and delete all of those “But I can’t __” statements we may be telling ourselves.

When we hyperfocus on our perceived flaws, we inadvertently tell others to pay attention to them too. A sexy woman with a disability accepts her perceived imperfections and knows how to rock her best assets.

Remember that beauty is not just about physical appearance but also about how we carry ourselves. Confidence and self-acceptance make most people innately more attractive and magnetic to others.

You can change your thoughts and mindset and learn how to carry yourself with confidence.

To truly feel sexy and confident, it is important to challenge our negative thoughts and beliefs about ourselves that we’ve learned and internalized from a lifetime of disability stigmas and societal messaging. Read our post, “Common Thinking Traps When You Have A Disability” for more on this.

We may have zero control over our disabilities, but we do have control over how we think about them and, ultimately, how we choose to live with them.

To be sexy, you have to think you’re sexy.

The best illustration I’ve seen of this is in the movie “I Feel Pretty” by Amy Schumer. Have you seen it? It got pretty horrible reviews, but I loved it.

Basically, a woman named Renee (Amy’s character), who struggles with major insecurity and rejection on a daily basis, hits her head and wakes up believing she has morphed into a supermodel.

Although Renee’s physical appearance never actually changes, her self-perception does. By thinking and believing she is beautiful, Renee becomes confident. This confidence gives her the courage to take risks and be open to new opportunities, including love.

Of course, falling off a spin bike will not have the same magical effect off-screen as it did on-screen. But you can alter your self-image by learning to change the thoughts you have about yourself.

One way to feel sexy on Valentine’s Day when you have a disability is to focus on what you can do rather than what you can’t.

Instead of dwelling on your limitations, think about the things that make you feel good about yourself. This may include your witty sense of humor, intelligence, ability to connect with others, or even your sense of style.

What would someone you know and care about say is unique and inherently beautiful about you? Focus on that, and then amplify it to the max!

It is always up to us to decide what we believe. The sooner we decide what beliefs are not ours, the further along we are. Realizing that the power to attract has nothing to do with how the body appears and everything to do with how one “carries” oneself will propel us along the path of owning the sexy goddesses already inside each of us.

For those of us in relationships, Valentine’s Day is our annual reminder to spice things up and prevent monotony in long-term monogamy. By making an effort (like shaving your legs or getting waxed), you send your partner the unspoken “you’re worth it” message. This act alone is an aphrodisiac, which is great because watching me attempt to eat an oyster would be the antithesis of a turn-on.

Remember, relationships are not just about physical attraction but also about emotional intimacy and connection. Celebrating Valentine’s Day is a great way to remind ourselves of the qualities that attracted us to our partner and to maintain that spark in our relationships.

It is important not to blow off Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, or any other event celebrating your relationship. They are an opportunity for couples to be intimate, share memories, and remember the qualities that initially attracted one person to the other.

This is especially true when one partner relies on the other for physical assistance and/or caregiving due to disabilities. Unless you’re playing out a doctor/nurse fantasy, it’s important to keep the caretaking to a minimum in the bedroom and to have equal giver and taker roles. To really spice things up, why not try one of these disability-inclusive sex toys?

If you’re single and looking for love, Valentine’s Day may not rank high on your list of favorite holidays. I feel your pain and get it. After getting divorced in my early 40s, I worried I’d spend February 14 alone (with a bunch of cats) forever. I thought my disability would be a deal breaker for any man I wanted to be in a long-term relationship with. Fortunately, I was wrong.

If you’re newly single and have similar worries, get our best tips for online dating with an invisible disability and listen to this episode of EmBrace It, where we discuss dating and the red flags to watch out for when you have a disability.

If you don’t have a partner, why not plan a night out with friends who are positive, supportive, and accepting of your disabilities? This can be a great way to boost your confidence and feel more comfortable in your own skin.

Seeing the beauty within ourselves is at the heart of having the power to attract. We are the only ones who determine our power to attract. Remember, we are all born beautiful and loving. If you find yourself losing sight of your beauty, remember that you can always find it again. None of us came into this world with shame, insecurities, or fear. This means we can return these to wherever they came from.

Your story is completely up to you, and you get to choose how you want to live it. You can stay home feeling bad this Valentine’s Day, eating a chocolate version of the perfect man or woman, or you can put yourself out there and meet new characters that may change the plot of your adventure with a disability story.

Finally, don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. Remember that Valentine’s Day is just one day, and it’s not a measure of your worth as a person. You are worthy of love and respect, no matter what your abilities are.

I never need an excuse for a new outfit, but if you do, then Valentine’s Day is a great one. Although sexiness comes from within, an outfit that flatters your figure and shows a little skin doesn’t hurt.

There is a fine line between dressing sexy and dressing trashy. Here are some basic rules of thumb:

❤️  Choose one sexy area to highlight (boobs or legs, never both).

❤️  Wear fitted clothes, not tight clothes.

❤️  Tactile fabrics like cashmere or a faux fur jacket can be alluring.

❤️  Wear fun accessories to highlight your best features.

❤️  Undergarments matter (flashback to the girdle scene in “St. Elmo’s Fire”).

Of course, you should wear clothing that is both comfortable and flattering. You could also wear something black you already own and add something sexy and unexpected, like a pair of red AFO-friendly booties.

Scroll through and click on the links below to shop our finds:

In Conclusion…

Feeling sexy on Valentine’s Day with a disability may require some extra effort, but it is definitely possible. By focusing on your strengths, experimenting with new ways of expressing yourself, and surrounding yourself with supportive people, you can feel confident and sexy this Valentine’s Day. Plus, I heard they remove all the calories from chocolate when it’s molded into hearts.

What do you do or wear to feel sexy?

Please use the comment box below to share your thoughts and tips.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Xo

Lainie