It’s hard to find flat dressy shoes that don’t look like you just raided an old lady’s closet. These super cute faux suede ones have a pointy toe and an elastic jewel covered strap that holds a foot in place. The can be worn both casually and to black tie affair. http://torrid.com
To say it has not been easy finding myself is an understatement for sure
I literally put my parents through virtual hell from age 10 until my early twenties.
I’ll spare you the details for now. Let’s just say…
Delinquent Depressed teenage girl + mom fed up and near nervous breakdown = Shipped off to Boarding School far far away
Like many teenage girls, I was really insecure and wanted to be accepted so badly that I literally cried out for attention.
Everything was black & white and I remember worrying constantly…
What if No one saves me a seat at lunch?
What if I NEVER get invited to Homecoming?
What if no boy EVER really likes me?
I wanted to have the “perfect body” and “perfect boyfriend” just like Seventeen Magazine told me I could have and should have.
There were no Dove “Real Beauty” campaigns back in the 80’s.
I love parties. Getting an evite or that rare old school paper invite in the mail, is exciting.
It always feels good to be included.
Most parties these days are casual. If a dress code is mentioned, it typically says “Saturday Night Snazzy” or something else implying “Look Like You Give A Shit” but anything goes.
But, getting the rare “Cocktail Party Attire” invite used to cause me great anxiety and stress. With an invisible physical disability I have worries most people never even think about.
What will I wear that will cover my AFO’s? How long will I have to stand in place?
Will they even have a sit down dinner? How will I hold a plate and a drink?
Maybe it’s age or planning ahead, but I don’t stress as much anymore.
A great fitted white shirt is a staple in every fashionista’s wardrobe. But,
when you have fine motor issues, all fasteners are a pain in the a##; especially buttons.
You can use a button helper (metal tool found at home health type stores. But, they are time consuming to use. Instead, I have all my button downs sewn up permanently by a local seamstress. I always leave a few open at the top and buy shirts with plenty of stretch in the fabric so that I can easily slip them over my head.
The saying “You Can’t Judge A Book By It’s Cover” has a literal meaning for those of us with invisible physical disabilities and challenges.
When people think of the term, disability, they mostly picture people in wheelchairs or those using walkers or canes. Those little blue signs designating special parking and larger (usually cleaner) bathrooms are distinctly labeled; wheelchair users can park or pee there.
These assistive devices symbolize to the world that the person using them has either a temporary or permanent physical disability. They are treated differently.
The summer before I started high school (in the dark ages before internet and iPhones ) I had a major operation on both of my legs and had to wear two leg casts and be in a wheelchair for 6 months. It sucked to say the least.
My best friend Stacie used to push me around the hallways at school and at the mall on weekends.